Those Thinking NBA Already: Not gonna happen anytime soon, and won’t ever if you can’t fathom how teams are supposed to function. You know, the parts working together, not separately.

Sizzle Over Substance: Yeah, you T-Will. A bounce pass beats one from behind the back sailing out of bounds. Dunks are great but not when you miss them; sometimes simple layups will do, especially when points are few and far between.

One Dimensional: Some of those offensive moves are incredible, Derrick. However, your movement on defense is just plain offensive.

Sulker: The act is getting old, Edgar. Remember how you played before you scored so many points against Texas A&M. Play quarterback again. Wasn’t that long ago.

Motivator: Find the keys quickly, please.