By Paulie the Fist
We had to do it. There was no other way. Day after day, I’d drive by there … the manicured lawn, hedges trimmed weekly, not a speck of jimson weed, crabgrass or Johnson grass. And, there was that flag. That blue Kentucky Wildcat flag.
It was a big one, flapping from a pole in the front of the house. It never came down, not even on patriotic days when it should have been replaced by “Old Glory.” Not even when Lynyrd Skynyrd came to town and the Confederate stars and bars should have been rolled out.
A symbol of the superiority, arrogance, “holier than thou” attitude of the house owner and his snooty wife. Not ones to engage in small talk on summer evenings out in the front yard. Not ones to drop by with chicken soup if someone is feeling poorly.
A spot of blue in a decidedly red neighborhood. The enemy. Typical “Big Blue” believers. We gave them their space. An occasional nod of recognition. A prom wave if driving by. They got theirs. We got ours.
The plan developed with news the two were headed off on a short vacation through Labor Day weekend. Mostly, it was Clarence, the fanatical U of L neighbor, and I, talking about it while relaxing with a beverage after cutting the yard. The blue flag was going to be history and a bright, shiny Cardinal red one would replace it.
We wait for the cover of darkness. Mostly because Clarence doesn’t get home till late that night. I have the new flag, just out of the wrapper. We walk to the front porch and up the steps humming the Cardinal fight song as we remove the symbol of tyranny, replacing it with one of hope and promise — of freedom and Bilal Powell.
The U of L flag waves proudly in the light breeze this afternoon as I gaze out the window. It will continue to until they arrive home. The flag rings are super glued to the rope, the old flag draped over the garden hose roller in the backyard.
A relative checking on the house while they’re gone gives it a cursory look yesterday but doesn’t act on it. We think he’s a closet Michigan State fan anyway, so the difference between red and blue is pretty insignificant for him.
The neighborhood is looking pretty good these days.
I don’t care how hard you’re laughing, Zombie — arson is not a joking matter. When you come up for air, you’ll hear the crickets.
A visit to the Clue Store might be in order.
I’d burn your house down when I got back. That would probably make us about even for something like that. Maybe.
Not funny.
Hey…!!! This is my UK educated, Hardin County School librarian! Wife of my nephew! Idiot right wing, honest to god (hers not mine), church going christian. Don’t get her started on her relationship to monkeys!! Guess ya don’t have to be too bright to be an “educater” in good-ol-Kentuck! Just a coward that makes threats behind their computer. Sorry you have to contend with those blue-brained idiots Charlie. Where I live I can ignore such ignorant cowardly asses!
GO CARDS`>
Thanks for reading and commenting. I think I’m going to pass on your kind offer to burn my house down. Good luck in your career as a librarian and may you be in heaven a half hour before the devil knows you’re dead.
How about an update on how the flag is doing.
Thanks, Charlie. We find that if we just let him wander aimlessly he’s prety harmless, finds his way back most of the time and occasionally brings back interesting items and new friends. Just in case, we installed a tracking device.
Just another “what, now?? ” episode in the continuing saga of my loveable big ol’ bear that never fully progressed out of his fraternity years at the ‘Ville.
Sonja, send out an alert if you need help over there next week. We’ll send the Card Game posse.
As of 10:45 Wednesday evening, the flag still flew proudly…illuminated by the porch light (probably set to a timer). I fully expected a band of UK patriots to drive in from Lexington, Hazard Bugtussle..wherever…and replace it but it remains.
Finally Louisville fans are taking back the city. This is one small step for cards, one giant flap for birdkind
hahaha; I’d love to see their faces when they get home…hopefully they’ll be PROUD to have the WINNER of Saturday’s game represented in their yard…go CARDS!!
Brilliance! Well done!
I would loved to have been there. But I want even more to be there when they get back to see the looks on their faces. Yipes!
Mission accomplished. I think we’ve all wanted to do the same thing Paulie the Fist actually executed. His adrenaline is going to be pumping for the next five days. Gotta love it.