Here’s your hat, Missouri, what’s the hurry?

By Tom Stosberg

Tis way past time for the Big XII conference to show Missouri the door. If conference officials had any sense or self respect they would hold a press conference right now to announce that University of Missouri is no longer a member of the league.

What puzzles me is why in the world they want to keep this nothing program?

Did I say nothing? Let’s do a little Google search. How many National Championships have the Tigers racked up in their long and legendary  football history.  Answer: ummm…None.

Well, how many NCAA basketball championship trophies in the Mizzou trophy case. Answer. Let’s see … uh … Zero.

And in their 21 NCAA Tournament appearances, how many times have the rough ‘n’ tough Tigers made it to the final Four? oooh … uh … Zippo.

Face it, the only reason for keeping Missouri in the Big XII is so they can provide extra wins to the biggies to help elevate the Bowl status of Texas. Oklahoma and OSU. These teams certainly don’t want to lose one of their favorite perennial doormats.

So I say, kick ’em out and replace them with one of the most exciting, up-and-coming, TOTAL athletic program in the nation, University of Louisville in this conference realignment thing.

One more thing.  Nobody, but nobody, not even the rumor monger New York Times or America’s gossip mill ESPN suspects that the SEC and the Big Ten (12) are at this moment  taking a long look at Louisville (since the Big XII has brought all this attention to us). If the Big 12 fiddles around long enough considering Louisville, they may just get blindsided.  You may want to write that down.

Fourth winnable loss

Editor’s note: Again this week, a guest author has his hackles up. The opinions expressed do not necessarily represent the views of Card Game, especially as they may relate to the defensive staff.

By Tom Stosberg

I am told that there is a sign in the Trinity locker room that says, “The will to win is not nearly as important as the will to prepare to win.”  I am not sure that such a sign truly exists.

In any case, such a sign needs to exist SOON in the U of L football locker room. I said soon.

Losing not one but four very winnable games, is nothing less than lack of preparation, both mental and physical. The cheerleaders, marching band and Lady Birds are not responsible for preparing the team. Neither are the team managers, office assistants, video editors or medical staff.

The coaches, the guys making the big bucks, are the ones responsible for preparing our football players and as of this point in time, they appear to be collecting paychecks under false pretenses.

Obviously the current University of Louisville football coaches are counting on the fans to wait 6, 8, maybe 10 years for another fairly decent team to magically appear.

It is this simple, gentlemen, if you don’t know how to teach, lead and motivate college football players, some of whom are exceptionally gifted, perhaps it is now time for several of you to investigate some other means of livelihood.  Simply admit to yourselves that you do not have the talent or ability to impart your vast wealth of football knowledge to 18 to 21 year old athletes and go do something else.

If you can’t win winnable games please explain to me why you haven’t already cleaned out your desks? Why are you still here? The coaches keep crying that they can’t find any leaders. Leadership begins with the coaching staff and this group is a sorry lot in that regard.

I hope this really ticks off the coaches. They’re not nearly as ticked off as U of L fans are.

OJT for beating cupcakes

By Tom Stosberg

Editor’s note:  Somebody has their hackles up.

It may be a long, long time before Charlie Strong learns during his on–the-job-training at the University of Louisville exactly what it takes to beat a cupcake. During his 17-game stint, Strong has yet to learn that his choice of assistant coaches will greatly affect his chances of winning.

One detriment to Strong’s future will be if defensive backs coach, Larry Slade, is still gainfully employed on Charlie’s staff this coming Monday morning.  Slade, the only holdover from the pitiful Kragthorpe era, continues to suffer from a variety inabilities including a complete lack of the ability to teach the game of football and no ability whatsoever to motivate student athletes to play the game of football.

This is blatantly evident in the fact that in Slade’s three years here, not a single defensive back has shown any indication that he has a clue regarding where he is supposed to be on the field. Passing against the Slade’s defensive backs is like taking candy from a baby.

Know this. I am absolutely sure beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Larry Slade is positively the nicest person in the world, behind only Mother Teresa and S. Kragthorpe, but he has to go. Now.

But that’s not all. Offensive line coach Dave Borbely is among the worst Offensive Line coaches in the game today. Not only is Borbely a disgrace as a teacher and motivator, he’s also one of the worst at evaluating talent. He is the only person in the U of L Program who DOESN’T know that U of L should have gone to the JUCO ranks to get THREE — not one, but three — offensive linemen to shore it up for Teddy Bridgewater. Bad planning, bad management, bad coaching, grounds for dismissal.

Borbely has a lousy track record. I was very disappointed when I learned that Strong hired him in the first place. His resume includes those super football powerhouses Rice, Temple and Tulane plus 4 years at that legendary bastion of major college football, University of Virginia. Zowie.

Louisville’s (Borbely’s) offensive line is both passive and lazy. They buy their clothes at Lane Bryant and they couldn’t block their grandmothers. Other than that, they are lovely boys.

Dear Coach Strong, if you want to be a nice guy to a bunch of cronies, go coach badminton. If you want to be a head coach, you have to get rid of the dead weight.

Take your seat Louisville football fan

By Tom Stosberg

Vicinity calls do not count in Fandom.

First, do you know what a” vicinity” call is? It’s a baseball term. When a second baseman or shortstop doesn’t quite get his foot on second base when executing a double play, the umpire will sometimes ignore it because the fielder’s foot was “in the vicinity” of the bag.  The ump considers close acceptable and lets the double play stand.

Get the picture Louisville fans? You have to be inside the stadium paying attention to the game.

Well, when it comes to attending at a football game, there are no “vicinity calls.” Fans have to in fact be in their seats. That’s how it works in big time college football.

No, one can’t be in the “vicinity” like the parking lot, or a stadium lounge area, or inside a swanky suite…they must be in their seats. Or standing in front of their seats, preferably screaming their tonsils out.

Got the picture, Louisville fans? You have to be inside the stadium paying attention to the game. Actually encouraging the home team by making some kind of racket. If not, you don’t get any credit from me.

Nor for that matter, from the head football coach, from the team or your fellow fans.

You’ll have about 164 hours left in the week after the game is over, to socialize and make small talk. Got it?

One last dump on Steve Kragthorpe

By Tom Stosberg

There is whining and then there is fact. And the fact is that the foul odor of the past three years continued to linger a little in the first half of Saturday’s game. It wasn’t until the second half that the Charlie Strong Era truly began. That halftime speech had to have been a dandy.

Someone closely resembling a former Louisville football coach advances toward Papa John's Cardinal Stadium Saturday.

But one more parting shot is appropriate now, just to set the record straight, hopefully the last time.

Let it be said that Steve Kragthorpe had his nerve bawling about the shape in which he accused Bobby Petrino of leaving the University of Louisville football  program.

In fact, Petrino left it with some studs, some of whom are playing on Sundays, (Brohm, Cantwell, Wood, Douglas, etc.) In just three years, which only seemed like ten, he totally decimated the championship environment that Petrino had established.

The former coach also was able to rid the program of other studs such as Matt Simms and Anthony Allen, both currently in starting lineups for major football powers, Tennessee and Georgia Tech respectively.

Neither liked the Book Club foolishness or the passive-aggressive coaching mentality. Several players were kicked off the team who may yet star at BCS schools. But that’s what happens when a coach has not a clue as to how to handle big time athletes.

And don’t go feeling sorry for someone who walked away with over $2 million in cash.

Given just a little more time, Charlie Strong will load the team with “Petrino-like” studs. But facts are facts – when a pathetic team that is the doormat of the Southeastern Conference can beat you by a measly touchdown, there’s no doubt you still have your work cut out for you.